September 21

Tube 2, Day 110

Day 510 Since Feeding Tube Insertion

This is my final blog post. Later today Jenny & James are taking me to see Dr. Burns and I won’t be coming home. It’s OK. I feel miserable and it’s hard to get comfortable in any position. My kidneys are shutting down…they’ve been through a lot.

A couple of weeks ago I had a kidney stone stuck in my right ureter (between my kidney & my bladder), and that was bad news – my kidney was blowing up like a balloon. After two nights at MedVet I seemed to have passed it, and I came home on a Thursday only to have to go back in the wee small hours of Sunday morning. I hurt all over and I couldn’t go pee. I stayed at MedVet for two more nights. I came home with 5 different medications, including a powerful pain medication that kept me pretty out of it. I haven’t been myself since then. I just want to lie around and sleep.

Last week I went back for a check-up and came home with 2 more medications – plus I’ve been getting food through my tube and (arrgghh) sub-q fluids again. James & Jenny were hoping that I’d turn another corner and return to (relatively) good health one more time, but I’ve had enough.

Jenny & James are feeling very sad today, and Jenny says they probably will for a while. They’re glad I came to live with them and we got to spend 7 years together (I’m glad, too). I know that thanks to them I got to spend a lot more time enjoying life than I thought I would when we first found out I was in chronic renal failure.

I’m thankful to Dr. Burns for helping figure out what was wrong with me and all the folks at Red Maples Veterinary Clinic for taking care of me whenever Jenny & James had to go out of town. I’m thankful to Dr. Forman for being my kidney doctor and the staff at MedVet for nursing me when I was very sick. I know they did all they could to help me get well.

Thanks for keeping tabs on me by reading my blog. If you feel the urge to do something when you hear of my passing, I hope you’ll make a donation to a humane society or other animal charity to help pets in need, like I once was.

Day 2, Tube #2

This morning I felt much better when Jenny & James gave me my antibiotics through my plug before Jenny left for work. I cried a little bit at first, but I didn't snarl or twist around.

When Jenny came home, she wanted to take some pictures of my plug so she could help me post them on this blog. I made a fuss when James lifted up my tank top and even tried to bite him! I think my stoma might be more sore now than it was this morning.

Before long James thought they might as well give me my antibiotics and get it over with. I growled and tried to slash at Jenny with my claws (unfortunately it looks like someone at MedVet trimmed them when I was under the anesthesia yesterday) but it hurt less than it did yesterday and I think Jenny was trying to be quick.

Just to make Jenny & James feel like they spent a bundle of money on a new feeding tube for nothing, I've been eating lots of kibble today and even drinking more water than usual. Pppthththbbbttt!

Day 1, Tube #2

June 4

Today Jenny dropped me off at MedVet on her way to work. They put me under, then a Dr. Hostutler endoscopically removed the inside-the-stomach bit of my old tube, made a small incision to widen my stoma, and inserted a new, low-profile PEG tube! It looks like the plug where you blow up a beach ball, so it only sticks out maybe a centimeter or so. Unfortunately, the incision made my stomach pull away from my abdominal wall a little, so they had to put in a couple of stitches, but I no longer have a 10-inch long tube coming out of my side that needs to be wrapped around, held in place by a tank top, and clipped to the tank top with a binder clip.

James picked me up in the afternoon. Luckily I did not have to wear an e-collar. They showed him how to put an extension tube into my plug, and I didn't like that. I'm still quite sore! I was also still a little woozy from the anesthesia.

When Jenny came home I was pigging out on kibble, even though they told James not to let me eat a lot. What could I do? I was hungry! Earlier in the day James took away my kibble and I actually ate some of Bucky's kibble. I never noticed how delicious it is before. I even ate a little of it after James brought my own kibble back out. Then James took up Bucky's kibble and neither of us could eat it. Sigh.

Tonight James & Jenny had to give me some antibiotics through my plug. The area around it is still swollen, oozy, and tender. I did NOT want them messing around with my plug! I tried to tell them this by growling, then snarling, and eventually biting, flailing about, and twisting around, but they still pressed that syringe into my tube. It hurt a lot. Jenny never saw me so upset! I guess it probably also hurt a lot when I got my first tube (it's hard to remember), but I was so sick I didn't have much fight in me at the time. But I do now!

I think Jenny & James felt pretty bad afterward (and rightly so). They may call about getting me some pain medication tomorrow. I got some after my first tube was inserted, but MedVet didn't send me home with any today (sadists!).

Day 400

June 3

Today my feeding tube came out. I'd like to take the credit, but I think it got caught on something when I was jumping down from a box. When James opened the bedroom door to let me out, I was tank-topless. Upon further investigation, he discovered that I was also feeding-tubeless. He retrieved my tube, packed me into my carrier, and swept me off to MedVet. He called Jenny on her cell phone (she was driving home from work) and she turned around and met us there.

The emergency vet we saw was named Dr. Lasher. She didn't think I was actually having an emergency, but she put in a phone call to another vet to consult. It wasn't Dr. Forman, because he was away at some internal medicine conference. Anyway, Dr. Lasher thought it would be a lot cheaper and maybe better medically to wait until tomorrow to replace my tube (when a vet more experienced with the procedure could do it). They clipped and cleaned my stoma, and sent me home without a feeding tube! I am still wearing a tank top, though, to keep my stoma clean. I feel so free!

Day 366

April 30, 2009

Wow. I got my feeding tube one year ago today.

I still have it. In fact, I'm not sure I remember ever not having it. But that's OK.

I'm used to wearing a stupid tank top all the time. I'm used to Jenny & James feeding me, giving me medicine, and giving me water through my tube, although I hardly get any food through it any more. I like to eat my kibble on my own, whenever I feel like it. And while I don't drink as much as I should, Jenny & James can give me enough water through my tube so that I don't have to get fluids through a needle any more.

I visit Dr. Forman for a check-up about every other month. My weight and kidney values are stable, so I mostly just get blood drawn and a little cleaning up around my stoma when I'm there.

I feel pretty much back to normal. I like to be petted every time James sits on the loveseat. I scratch my scratching post, watch the birds through the doorwall, sit in the window and look at the neighborhood, and make a fuss whenever Mr. Cat is allowed anywhere near me. I can jump up and down from perches without any trouble, and occasionally I even like to jump up on top of the entertainment center and knock things off (I think it's funny when Jenny hollers).

So it's been a long year, and I wasn't always sure I'd make it. But here I am, and life is good, and Jenny & James plan on keeping me around for as long as possible.

Day 154

Wednesday, October 1

Boy, I haven't written anything for a while now! I've been feeling pretty good, although when James took me to MedVet a few weeks ago my numbers were a little higher than they have been. The lady told James to try to get me to drink more water...well, I don't know if I'm drinking ANY water! I have been eating my kibble, though. I'm down to one feeding of 35 mL's every evening, although most days I get water through my tube in the morning, as well.

I get my sub-q fluids about every other day, although as time goes on I am getting less and less tolerant of them. I think my skin is also developing scar tissue, because James seems to be having a harder time finding a good place to stick the needle. OUCH!

Tomorrow Jenny & James are going to Michigan for Jenny's sister Beth's wedding, so I'll be staying with Dr. Burns at Red Maples. I bet they do a better job of giving me my fluids than James!

Day 123

Sunday, August 31

Well, I'm down to two feedings a day, and I'm eating a little kibble, although not enough to maintain my weight on my own. I'm still hovering at 6 lbs., though, so I haven't lost much weight. I don't seem to be the slightest bit interested in drinking anything, though, and Jenny & James are still giving me IV fluids most days. The sub-q fluids are less of a pain than the tube feeding, though, so even if they have to continue the fluids Jenny says that's OK with them.

James is taking me back to Med Vet to see Dr. Forman on Thursday. He'll take blood and run a bunch of tests and look at my numbers to see how I'm doing - wish me luck!

Day 106

Thursday, August 14

On Friday, the 100th day since I got my feeding tube, I saw Dr. Forman for a check-up. My weight at MedVet was 6 lbs., 2 oz.! He's really pleased with how I'm doing. The next step is to see if I'll start to eat on my own if Jenny & James feed me less through my tube. Dr. Forman says that my weight is so good that I can afford to lose a little bit, if that's what it takes to get me eating again.

This week I'm down from 90 mL's three times a day to 70 mL's three times a day. I don't seem to be hungry yet. Tomorrow I'll drop to 50 mL's three times a day. Jenny & James can't wait to get me down to two feedings a day!

Even if I don't start eating on my own again, two feedings would be much more manageable (for me and them). There's also the option of having a different kind of PEG tube inserted, designed for long-term use (the length of tubing would detach when I wasn't being fed, so that I'd just have the plug in my side - no long tube to flop around, and no shirt to keep a long tube out of the way!).

But of course, the ideal scenario would be for me to get hungry and eat my k/d kibble again. I used to eat a little bit now & then right after my tube was inserted, so hopefully I enjoy the taste and sensation and I'll go back to it once I get hungry enough. Jenny bought a new bag so the food is nice & fresh.

The next few weeks are make-it-or-break-it-time, so wish me luck!

Day 90

Tuesday, July 29

Well, by Jenny & James' scale, I now weigh over 6 lbs. - 1 1/2 oz. over, to be exact. That's pretty exciting news!

The past few days I've been kind of blah, but because they're neglectful & forgetful (and because James was gone most of the day on Saturday), Jenny & James haven't given me any fluids since Friday, so maybe that's why. I got them tonight, but I didn't like it.

Tomorrow, after my morning feeding, Jenny is going up to Michigan for her sister's bridal shower on Saturday, so James will have to take care of me all by himself. Jenny's had to do that, too, over a couple of weekends, but not for such a long stretch at a time - James will have to take care of me on his own until Sunday afternoon. I hope he does OK!

Day 79

Friday, July 18

Hey, wow, I’ve been neglecting my blog for over a month now – yikes! A lot has happened in the past month. On June 19, I went and stayed at Red Maples vet clinic while Jenny & James went to visit their families in Michigan for the weekend. When they picked me up on Monday the 23^rd I was doing great! I was affectionate and energetic, and they were both pretty excited. By the end of that week, however, I was feeling pretty lethargic and they gave me some Tramadol in case I was in pain (trying to pass a kidney stone?). That made for a worrisome few days, but then I seemed to be feeling a bit better.

Jenny took me to see Dr. Forman again on July 1. He told her that he’d been reading my blog and was concerned about how I was doing, and they had the dreaded “quality of life” conversation. Dr. Forman said that although I was doing quite well, I probably wasn’t ever going to get any better than I am right now. I could possibly go on like this for a very long time, as long as I was getting good nutrition and care. He asked Jenny what she thought my quality of life was, on a scale of 1 (fabulous) to 10 (unbearable). She thought it was a 6 or 7, depending on the day. Dr. Forman said that wasn’t very good, but that he would support whatever decision she & James made about me.

Later, at home, Jenny asked James what he thought my quality of life was. He thought about 5 or 6, and they decided to put off making any big decisions for a while.

I stayed at Red Maples again over the 4^th of July, when Jenny & James went to New York to meet their niece (James’ brother’s daughter who was born on Thanksgiving). I was a good girl at the vet’s office, but I was very glad to get home. Since then, I’ve been doing very well.

I’ve been feeling good in general, which means that now not only do I not want to sit still for my fluids, but I’m getting pretty tired of them feeding me through my tube, too. I’ve taken to hiding under the bed, so now when they’re going to feed me they shut my bedroom door so I can’t do that. Sometimes I do start to walk away while the syringe is in my tube, causing them to crawl around on the floor after me and feel disgruntled. Sometimes food or water spills out of my tube when I do this, and my “tank top” gets pretty grimy after a while.

But I’m enjoying life a lot more. I play with my catnip ravioli every day, I like to look out the window, I lie on Jenny & James’ laps more often, and I’ve started jumping up to my favorite spots again (the end of the banister at the bottom of the stairs, the ledge in the upstairs hallway, and even the top of the TV stand, where there really isn’t any room for me), which I haven’t really done since I got my tube. I also discovered that I like to lie on top of the printer. Jenny thinks my quality of life is now probably a 4 on most days, maybe even a 3. She and James aren’t sure where to go from here, but for now I’m doing pretty good, so…yay!

Days 43-46

June 12-15

Not much to report - I threw up during my dinner feeding tonight, so James slowed my feeding way down and that seemed to help. He weighed me last night and I weighed 5 lbs., 2 1/2 oz., so hopefully I'm gaining a little weight.

Jenny & James have gone back to the 18-gauge needle for my fluids. I think it hurts more than the 20-gauge when they put it in, but the solution gets into me a lot faster, which is important because I really don't like to sit still for my fluids.

Day 42

Wednesday, June 11

The tech called today and left my kidney values on the answering machine, and my numbers are a third of what they were a couple of weeks ago - so they have gone down two thirds!

Jenny & James are giving me more food per feeding, and I seem to be doing OK; at least, I haven't been barfing a lot, which is pretty much my symptom of being "not OK" with my feedings. I've been getting the aluminum hydroxide, which is chalky and smells minty, like Maalox (not that I'm tasting it), so maybe that's helping, too.

Day 41

Tuesday, June 10

Well, my trip to MedVet this afternoon was somewhat of a joke. Jenny didn’t even get to see Dr. Forman! They took me in the back to draw blood and she waited for me in the waiting room. After a while they called her to pay the bill – she protested that I wasn’t even done yet, but they wanted to get it taken care of. Jenny waited a little longer after she paid the bill, and then a tech she had never met before (Joy) brought me out to her in my carrier.

Jenny had hoped to talk to Dr. Forman about quality-of-life issues (whatever that means), but since it will take a couple of days to get the results of my kidney tests back, she figured she could wait and talk to him then. She did need to ask the tech for a medication refill, syringes, material to make me another tank top, etc. The tech asked if she was still giving me aluminum hydroxide (for my phosphorous levels), and Jenny said she didn’t think we’d ever gotten any aluminum hydroxide to give me. So they gave me a bottle of that, too. Then Jenny owed another $11.00, which luckily she could pay in cash.

Since I weighed only 5.0 lbs. (where is all that food going? I’m not throwing up that much!), they told Jenny to increase my feedings to 70 mL’s (three times a day), then 80, and then 90 (over a week's time). They gave her a couple more 35 mL syringes and a couple of 60 mL syringes, but when we got home and Jenny went to get me my dinner, she removed the 35 mL syringes from their cases and saw that the tips were wrong – too big to fit into my feeding tube. The 60’s were the same way. So now she’ll have to make another trip to MedVet to get what I need.

Plus it turns out that we did have aluminum hydroxide at home, but when James had picked it up he was told to only give it to me after I started eating on my own, so clearly the hospital was a little mixed up about their own instructions. Jenny & James are starting to find MedVet a bit annoying…

Days 33-40

June 2-9

There hasn't been much to report lately. I'm just getting fed through my tube, barfing from time to time, and growling when I get my fluids every night. I guess this is what they call "the new normal." I'm definitely not my old self again, but I'm not feeling all lethargic like I was when I was trying to pass my kidney stone (I guess I passed it). Jenny is taking me for a check-up at MedVet tomorrow, so we'll see what Dr. Forman says.

Day 32

Sunday, June 1

I think I needed my fluids yesterday. Last night when James weighed me, I had lost a couple of ounces. Jenny is going to check with the vet clinic to see if she can bring me in to get my fluids when James is away at the Indy car race in mid-July; she probably can't manage it on her own.

This morning I stayed curled up in my cuddle cup while Jenny gave me my feeding, and at the very end I threw up a little bit, right in my bed! When Jenny tried to wipe it up it felt like she was invading my space, so I kind of growled - at first she thought it was my stomach making the noise! I think she was kind of relieved that it wasn't, so I don't feel particularly guilty.

When I came downstairs this afternoon, I was a little wobbly, and Jenny suggested I get my fluids earlier in the day. The plan was to give me 150 mL's (usually I get 100), but I managed to wiggle the needle out after only 100. Since that's my usual "dose," though, James didn't try to stick me again.

A few hours after my fluids, I was feeling perkier. I was sitting in the living room window looking out the screen when Jenny came home from feeding the sheep. I wish I didn't need to get poked with a needle in order to feel better, though!

Day 31

Saturday, May 31

Today James was gone almost all day so I got to skip my fluids! Me & Jenny & Bucky just hung out while Mr. Cat meowed piteously from the basement to join us.

Day 30

Friday, May 30, 2008

Last night I grabbed a catnip toy and rolled over onto my back with it. Then tonight, I did it again! I haven’t done that since I got my feeding tube!

Speaking of which, my tube has been in for a month now. I wonder how much longer I'll have to have it. I guess the idea is that after I gain some weight (how much, I don't know), Jenny & James will cut back on my tube feeding and see if I take up the slack by eating on my own.

My next appointment with Dr. Forman is Tuesday, June 10, which is the second day of Shavuot so Jenny will be off work and she can take me. James had to take me to my last two appointments because MedVet doctors only see patients at ridiculous hours, something like 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. weekdays - so convenient for working pet owners! Luckily, James' company is very flexible about stuff like that.

I didn’t do so well with my fluids tonight. I growled while I was getting them, and then I managed to kind of jump away so that the needle came out when I was only halfway done. Since James had already inserted the needle unsuccessfully once, he decided that rather than stick me a third time, he would call it a night. Hah! The joke may be on me, though, because I may find that I don’t feel quite as perky tomorrow. We shall see.

Day 29

Thursday, May 29

James has been giving me a lower dose of Tramadol, my painkiller, because it makes me so drowsy. This morning I rubbed all over him for a long time and even ate some k/d kibble, which I haven’t done in almost a week, so I’m definitely feeling better. I also scratched on my scratching post and came in the bathroom with Jenny and rubbed around her legs, something I haven’t done in positively ages!

Day 28

Wednesday, May 28

I still hate getting them, but I think the fluids do make me feel better. I feel perkier today than I have in a few days. My fur is starting to get a little oogy because I haven’t felt up to grooming myself much lately. Jenny wants to work on me with a warm wet washcloth, but I don’t think I’d really appreciate that!

Tonight James used another 20-gauge needle when I got my fluids, and I was a very good girl. I tried to sneak away while he was getting the needle cap off (don’t want them to think I’m enjoying this!), but after the needle was in I sat still in his lap.

Day 27

Tuesday, May 27

I got out of having my fluids on Monday night, but not tonight! Jenny stopped by Red Maples vet clinic after work to pick up some more cans of k/d food for me, and she also got some finer-gauge needles – Monoject 20’s (instead of 18’s). The tech also threw in one 22-gauge to try (the smaller needles hurt less going in but take longer to deliver the fluids).

So James tried a 20-gauge needle, and it worked pretty well. I only tried to run away once, although I kind of growled the whole time, to make sure they knew I didn’t like it! I also made a solid poop tonight instead of just diarrhea – hooray!